Tuesday, 10 July 2007

The sadness

This is a post I've been thinking of since last night. How to put it? I don't mean this in a sentimental way. It's nothing like Little Dorrit. But I just sat quietly on the sofa at home last night and felt so very sad for some of the children I work with. Children caught in the middle of rows and disputes. Children who have witnessed violence, the sort of violence that's like when someone is kicked when they are down on the floor, that makes you think someone isn't going to get up again, someone is going to die. I spent the day cajoling and arguing with other people who I thought could help. They couldn't. Or wouldn't.

So I felt angry, cross, annoyed, blood up at work, and the enjoyment that (when I'm honest) I get when I am fighting for something as well as the frustration and sense of powerlessness.

Then I got home, sat down, and felt so sad about it all. Wondered how long I can keep working with this level of emotion.